Putting my ornithology expertise to good use

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This is a chicken. Its long-ago ancestors were the dinosaurs we now depict as cheap plastic children’s toys in a futile attempt to downplay their ferociousness. The chicken traded those gnashing teeth for a beak, but it still has its forebears’ claws for ripping and disemboweling.

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Also for dust-bathing.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: Whole Foods, your terminology is incorrect.

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Baby panda bears have paws. Dinosaurs do not.

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Watch me disembowel this hay.

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