It’s a bright, cold morning just after the first real snow of the season. The chill gives your hunger an edge, but you have a plan: sit on the trash can and wait for the squirrels to come to you.

This perch is perhaps not entirely suited to your dignity, but it is hardly your fault that your fuzzy-tailed food likes to hang out in the garbage. They have chewed a hole in the side of the trash bin for easier access to their scraps. You, although temporarily perched on a trash bin, are death on wings—sharp talons screaming down from the sky…

(Where are these squirrels anyway?)

…talons screaming down from the sky to rend and tear—bill two hooked blades for disemboweling your powerless prey—

Whoa this is slippery!

That was embarassing.

You can just fly up to to the lamppost and hope no one saw that.

I saw it.