Don’t get me wrong, the winter Olympics is fun and all, but isn’t it just a little bit small-minded to limit ourselves to human competitors? Here are some videos illustrating how great this athletic competition could be if we made it just a bit more inclusive (and added some new events):
Event: Team Vertical Iceberg Jump. Competitor: penguin
Event: Snow Diving. Competitor: red fox.
Event: Belly Scooting. Competitor: Adelie Penguin
Event: Snowboarding. Competitor: crow.
Event: Ice Skating. Competitor: polar bear.
Event: Bubble-assisted Rocketing. Competitor: Emperor Penguin.
Event: Tetherball Gymnastics. Competitor: ermine.
On second thought, maybe we’d better restrict the winter Olympics to humans. Otherwise the penguins would win everything.